Thursday, December 23, 2010

Baby Bonus

One good thing about having a baby in 2013 is that then I think I will get a car too. I don't think I could have a baby and still take the bus all the time. It's way too dysfunctional. Today was particularly dumb. I missed my bus (which by the way has happened a total of one other time in two years at my current job) home by like two seconds, and as I was standing there slumped at the bus stop, watching the #70 drive away, debating between going back to work or standing in the cold for an hour, two teenage girls pulled up and offered me a ride. I took it, of course. It was like a Christmas miracle. Right there in the back of that cigarette smoke/car freshner-smelling Buick, chatting with two sisters... one works at a dry cleaners, and the other works at Menard's. My very own Christmas miracle.

Will I ever get my act together? It seems unlikely.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Lost Opportunity - I could have been a congressman's wife.

BIG NEWS is right... although I think I have called you all by now.

Dave called yesterday. I got a message in the middle of the day that said, "Please call me back. I have something important to talk with you about." He only calls in the middle of the day if he wants to talk when Macie is not around.

My first response was - "Fuck he and his wife are having a kid." Not that I would care but I think it would be super hard for Macie - He sees her so little and seven years later she still cries herself to sleep because she misses her daddy - dumb I know but whatev.

So I call back - totally dreading the news. He answers and says-
"Well, I have some I'm going to run for Congress... US CONGRESS" with emphasis on the US to make me realize the importance of the task ahead.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME? I can't dream up this shit, seriously!!

The best part about the conversation is that my phone chose that moment to cut out.....

And instead of calling him back I called Keller - left a message
called Jake- She totally thought I was crying but in reality I was laughing too hard to speak.
called Prem - left a message

Then I called him back and he said "So what so you think?" I think I said something like "Besides that this is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard of?"... You can imagine the conversation went downhill from there.

A few minutes later my mom called I asked her what she was doing and she said she was with Macie at a park. I figured it was great moment to tell her the BIG news since Macie was off running around. I told her.... she was totally quite for a moment and then she said in a very serious voice,
"Oh that it is too bad. Honey, you would have made an amazing Congressman's Wife"

I was stunned... What????

Then I heard her laugh hysterically.

keep the lip

nice memory linds.. completely forgot about nate cerra playing darts. HILARIOUS!
i love lip chip. who cares if it isn't marketable. it doesn't have to be. and honestly, i don't think we should explain it, we should just say.. "why not? (read: blank stare back)"
the other day i called livi all excited to tell her. you know she's the one who told me the story back in the day. i tried to explain the profound effect it had on shaping our formative college years.. i think she might have gotten it. she probably just thinks i'm mostly nuts, but who doesn't?

um case- i think you're forgetting some big news...

love and holiday hugs friends,
matilda moon max jacobsen

ps- i hear you on the patience thing linds.. wow. i have the up most respect for my brother these days.

chicken shack

love the blog -- even more now that i've finally figured out how to use it and write something!

thank you, case, for getting that story down on "paper" so that everyone could know the reason for the name. i do want your sisters to know that the story is primarily told via charade- and we tell it as one person acts it out. speaking of charades, i think a game is long overdue.... some of my other faves include: chicken shack, nate cerra playing darts, and so on.

given that i am losing my memory, maybe someone can remind me when/where/why we started playing charades. was it on that same girls' weekend trip up north? or was it in our dorm rooms some random night? whenever it was, somehow, it stuck.

and i love the lip chip story the best.

anyway, that's about all for now. but i'm into having a baby in 2013, so i can be in on the plan, too, regardless of where i am in life. i want a baby at some point, and 2013 sounds like a good time! (although given my recent "motherhood" to a puppy, i think i have to work on my patience!)

one more random tidbit: last week some of my students had a hard time- week before break and all. one of my students got a note from the recess duty person that she was not following directions. i turned the slip of paper over and read, "reminded not to go up the slide 2 times. told me to mind my own beeswax." i seriously had to turn away and laugh, before i told her to go apolgoize to the lady. what kid says that to an adult? i tell you... this year can't go quickly enough!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Why Lip Chip?

So my sister just asked me the dreaded question "Why Lip Chip?". It is just not marketable. I went through the whole story but since I don't own a memory I am not sure if I got it right. Once there was a guy that was hiking alone in Yellowstone (dumb, I know but whatever) and he was eaten by a grizzly and the only thing left was his lip. Apparently they found him becasue he had a microchip embedded in his lip. Then I started wondering, what would a single lip on a hiking trail look like? I think it would be very similar to an earth worm.

Monday, December 20, 2010


Awesome idea, Jen. January 2013 is open so far, so let's plan on it. Actually, that will probably be around the time when I get around to finally having a baby. It's really only two years away. Yes, sign me up.

so it goes..

I guess we'll get all the royalties...
and what about lindsay? i mean, i know her life is boring, but she should at least be a follower.
i'm sorry about your baby jealousy ace. but just so you know- you'll make a better mom and you have a cooler blog. your little girl is going to have SO MUCH FUN growing up. from the sounds of it, this little girl will only develop an eating disorder.
love you so much-
maybe we should have a baby together... i'm shooting for 1.11.13 (opposite mara's baby due date: 1.13.11) wanna join me?
hugs and high fives!
-true lipchiper

Where's Keller?

Did you guys notice that Keller isn't listed on the right as an author? Did she refuse the invitation? She's probably too busy borrowing people's orange scarves to notice.

On anther note, my sister-in-law is having a baby girl in April. I'm a little bit devastated. Mainly because:

a. I want a baby! Especially a girl.
b. I had to find out about the gender through Facebook.

Love you!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Simple Times

So excited! Just picked up my first library 'request'- Simple Times- crafts for poor people by Amy Sedaris. Can't wait to start crafting, or reading about it anyway. Could become my new favorite past time, only second to reading and collecting recipes.
I've decided that one of my New Year's resolutions is that I can only check out books, cds and audio books from the library that I can reasonably get through in the 3 wks allotment. I feel like i have a slight problem that needs addressing... when it comes to putting way too much shit on hold.
Oh and my new resolution of combing my hair has only happen once since i declared it is officially going to start happening. That might be my 2nd new years resolution.
I had another one, but i seemed to have already forgotten it.
I'm on my 2nd migraine of the month (which doesn't seem to be a good record) but shouldn't be anything that a night of margaritas w/ the coworkers shouldn't clear up manana.
boa noite amigos...

Thursday, December 9, 2010