I have nothing to confess.
My kid does.
Lots.
She has her first confession tomorrow at 10 am. (they call it reconciliation now).
I have no idea what she will say. I remember making shit up for mine.We have been thinking long and hard but still don't have much. I mean she can't even say I fight with my sisters - I am sure I threw that in. I wish I could record it.
We went to a practice session on Wednesday night where they informed us that after the children confess, parents and sibling will then go in...
UM, NO.
I know I am being highly hypocritical but I did not sign up for this. This train has been driven entirely by Macie. She is the one that wanted to make her First Communion and I am the one that has given her an out EVERY single week. And now they are telling me that I have to confess too? The four weekend workshops were more than enough.
This is what my confession session would look like-
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been 27 YEARS since my FIRST and LAST confession. I confess that I am having a VERY hard time with all of this. I strongly believe in Gay marriage, I believe in a women's right to have an abortion and I do not equate it with the Holocaust. I believe women should be priests and I believe that YOU should be able to have sex.
At which point I would have to pull out a piece of paper and read the Act of Contrition from it because unlike Macie, I do not know it by heart.
Keller is flying in in the morning. Maybe I could pick her up and then drive her over so we could confess together - Strength in numbers.
What? What are you confessing?
ReplyDeleteWhat? What?
ReplyDeletei tried to write the post from my iphone and couldn't do it. Now I have. Sorry for the days on anticipation.
ReplyDeleteI totally remember my first and last confession... I said "I could help my mom more." The priest thought I said "I could love my mom more," which of course was way over my 8-year-old head. It was a disaster.
ReplyDeleteIs the act of contrition that one that's like, We believe in one true god the god almighty the creator of heaven and earth.... You'd never know we all went to a Catholic college. No one tell St. Ben's about this blog.
i am absolutely crying right now. this is the funniest post i've ever read. case- i kind of think you should do it. if it wouldn't hinder macie's chances at reaching her first communion. oh man.
ReplyDeletethis is totally how i felt when i was in church for the first time in 10 yrs at my neices baptism last wkend. (the last time being completely hungover and w/ our parents right before college graduation)
This is the Act of Contrition (too good not to include)
ReplyDeleteAct of Contrition
O my God, I am heartily sorry for
having offended you, and I detest
all my sins, because of Your just
punishments, but most of all because
they offend You, my God, who are
all-good and deserving of all my love
I firmly resolve, with the help of
Your grace, to sin no more and to
avoid the near occasion of sin.
In total seriousness. I recently read this book called "From the Pews in the Back". It is a bunch of essays from young Catholic women edited by a Bennie. I highly recommend it (maybe only becasue I am going through all of this BS) I got it on interlibrary loan - from a library in Missouri. I thought it was hilarious and really insightful. Apparently I am not the only one who feels the way I do. But I tell you, at these workshops - I feel like a total misfit.
ReplyDeleteit was written by a bennie? are you sure it wasn't called: 'from the darkest pew'?
ReplyDeleteIf it was called "From the Darkest Pew" the Lip Chippers would have written it - no one else. It is a collection of essays so it was put together by a Bennie, one essay is from a girl one or two years below us (I forgot her name - Sara something) I think she was your friend Jake - definately Houlihan's friend.
ReplyDeleteSpeechless.
ReplyDelete