Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Confession

I have nothing to confess.

My kid does.

Lots.

She has her first confession tomorrow at 10 am. (they call it reconciliation now).

I have no idea what she will say. I remember making shit up for mine.We have been thinking long and hard but still don't have much. I mean she can't even say I fight with my sisters - I am sure I threw that in. I wish I could record it.

We went to a practice session on Wednesday night where they informed us that after the children confess, parents and sibling will then go in...

UM, NO.

I know I am being highly hypocritical but I did not sign up for this. This train has been driven entirely by Macie. She is the one that wanted to make her First Communion and I am the one that has given her an out EVERY single week. And now they are telling me that I have to confess too? The four weekend workshops were more than enough.

This is what my confession session would look like-

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been 27 YEARS since my FIRST and LAST confession. I confess that I am having a VERY hard time with all of this. I strongly believe in Gay marriage, I believe in a women's right to have an abortion and I do not equate it with the Holocaust. I believe women should be priests and I believe that YOU should be able to have sex.

At which point I would have to pull out a piece of paper and read the Act of Contrition from it because unlike Macie, I do not know it by heart.

Keller is flying in in the morning. Maybe I could pick her up and then drive her over so we could confess together - Strength in numbers.

10 comments:

  1. What? What are you confessing?

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  2. i tried to write the post from my iphone and couldn't do it. Now I have. Sorry for the days on anticipation.

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  3. I totally remember my first and last confession... I said "I could help my mom more." The priest thought I said "I could love my mom more," which of course was way over my 8-year-old head. It was a disaster.

    Is the act of contrition that one that's like, We believe in one true god the god almighty the creator of heaven and earth.... You'd never know we all went to a Catholic college. No one tell St. Ben's about this blog.

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  4. i am absolutely crying right now. this is the funniest post i've ever read. case- i kind of think you should do it. if it wouldn't hinder macie's chances at reaching her first communion. oh man.
    this is totally how i felt when i was in church for the first time in 10 yrs at my neices baptism last wkend. (the last time being completely hungover and w/ our parents right before college graduation)

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  5. This is the Act of Contrition (too good not to include)

    Act of Contrition

    O my God, I am heartily sorry for
    having offended you, and I detest
    all my sins, because of Your just
    punishments, but most of all because
    they offend You, my God, who are
    all-good and deserving of all my love
    I firmly resolve, with the help of
    Your grace, to sin no more and to
    avoid the near occasion of sin.

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  6. In total seriousness. I recently read this book called "From the Pews in the Back". It is a bunch of essays from young Catholic women edited by a Bennie. I highly recommend it (maybe only becasue I am going through all of this BS) I got it on interlibrary loan - from a library in Missouri. I thought it was hilarious and really insightful. Apparently I am not the only one who feels the way I do. But I tell you, at these workshops - I feel like a total misfit.

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  7. it was written by a bennie? are you sure it wasn't called: 'from the darkest pew'?

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  8. If it was called "From the Darkest Pew" the Lip Chippers would have written it - no one else. It is a collection of essays so it was put together by a Bennie, one essay is from a girl one or two years below us (I forgot her name - Sara something) I think she was your friend Jake - definately Houlihan's friend.

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